Sex World Records - Men Versus Women Humor - Marriage Relationship Jokes
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Most frequent sexual activity on record?
We have already noted the most frequent orgasms for men and women. Obviously orgasmic frequency is
related to coitus but only partly: there are other ways in which a person can come to climax. Kinsey found that
some married couples were having sexual intercourse as many as twenty-nine times a week, i.e. couples in the
21-25 year age group. By the age of fifty, "maximum frequency" had dropped to around 14 times a week. And it
has also been noted that in some exceptional cases, from the youngest lovers to those around forty years of
age - "there were some individuals who were having coitus in their marriages on an average of four times a
day, every day in the week. By the age of fifty-five no couples in the Kinsey sample were having coitus more
frequently than seven or eight times a week.
During one family planning trial in Britain one woman
logged on her specially provided record that she had intercourse ninety-one times in one month - "a figure
considered so extraordinary that it was left out of the final calculation in case it ruined the figures for average
frequency of copulation (about once every fourth day)". In their extensive cross-cultural study, Ford and Beach
noted that Thonga males copulate with 3 or 4 wives in a single night; and Chegga men are supposed to have
intercourse as many as ten times a night. But does orgasm occur in each copulation - "the data unfortunately
permit no definitive statements."
Farthest projected ejaculation?
Timgad, Erotic Mosaic, late First Century. This, we may assume, is yet another one for a future Sex Olympics.
Considering the amount of masturbation that goes on there must be considerable volume of semen discharged
in the absence of a convenient vaginal receptacle. The distances the seminal fluid achieves before being
arrested in flight must surely vary. I have seen very little documentation on this. Van de Velde notes that the
"rhythmic spasms of ejaculation fling forth the semen from the external orifice with an impetus which may be
perceived if the emission takes place in vacuo." He adds, with the air of the true scientist, that the "seminal
stream usually covers a distance of from 15 to 20 cm., but has been known to exceed 1m."
Most active sex life in old age?
Kinsey found men still making love about once a week at the age of sixty-five. In one group 75-year-olds were
having sex about once a month; and 80-year-olds were managing it once every nine or ten weeks. The record
for such things lies with a white man who was having - at the age of seventy - more than seven ejaculations per
week ! (Something to look foreward to, y'all
Highest estimate of female passion?
Historically women have been seen as sexually rampant, as vamp and temptress or as sexually dead (the
proper state for "moral" wives). One index of sexual awareness and interest is the degree of masturbation in an
individual (though of course masturbation may be infrequent or non-existent in highly sexed individuals when
an adequacy of other outlets exists).
Masturbation is said to be so widespread among both
married and unmarried Muslim females throughout Africa and the East that "it is commonly regarded by the
menfolk as customary and matter-of-fact" (A. Edwards & R. E. L. Masters, "The Cradle of Erotica"). "Rubbing"
or "pounding" is considered a natural manifestation of feminine nature - for "women's passion is ten times
greater than man's." In this spirit it has been suggested that since it takes ten men to satisfy one women, it is
only normal that a woman faithful to one man should masturbate from time to time to satisfy sexual needs.
(French troops marching off to war were said to provide their wives with dildos to reduce the chances of
adultery in their absence.)
Most sexually inhibited species?
Man, proud of his imagined superiority over the rest of the animal kingdom, can hardly be rated a winner in the
sexual stakes. His sexual organs are neither the largest nor the most impressive performers; his copulatory
capacities are outstripped by many animal species; and he is hardly the most prolific reproductively. In addition
man is much more likely to get sexual hang-ups than any other animal. If a snake fancies a bit of necrophilia, a
marten a bit of rape, or a porpoise a bit of group sex, then such individuals are unlikely to experience inhibiting
feelings of guilt at the thought. Man, however, is beset by anxiety, fear, guilt and moral loathing with regard to
many fancied sexual activities: few individuals indeed have come to terms with their sexuality. With all his
psychosexual problems man is without doubt the most sexually inhibited among animal species.
Most extreme consequences of orgasm?
Orgasm, stressing the body in various ways, has been known to produce some dire consequences. Kinsey
again - "At orgasm some individuals may remain unconscious for a matter of seconds or even for some
minutes". Kinsey also notes more than a dozen authorities - from Roubaud (1876) to Brown and Kempton
(1950) - who recorded "loss of sensory capacity or even of consciousness during extreme emotion or sexual
arousal". And orgasm has been known to accompany a variety of forms of damage to the body including
lesions and ruptures of various organs. Death has also occurred from time to time!
Most common types of male orgasm?
Kinsey delineated six types of male orgasm. In part the types vary according to the intensity of the reaction
exhibited. The most common type of male orgasm supposedly characterising about 45 per cent of adult males -
features some body tension. There may also be twitching or tension in one or both legs, of the mouth, of the
arms, or of other particular parts of the body. There is gradual build-up to a climax which involves rigidity of the
whole body and a degree of throbbing in the penis. There is orgasm with a few spasms but little after-effect.
This is seen as the most common type of male orgasm (discussed in 1. Singer "The Goals of Human
Sexuality") .
Fastest achieved male orgasm?
It is interesting to note how quickly the "preadolescent" can respond to sexual stimulation. Kinsey tabulated
the percentage of the population who could respond to the point of orgasm in less than ten seconds of sexual
stimulation. No less than 6.4 per cent of preadolescents could achieve orgasm in less than ten seconds of
sexual stimulation. And a quarter of all those tested could manage orgasm in less than one minute. Kinsey
notes that erection is much quicker in preadolescent boys than in adults; and some two-year-olds come to
climax in less than ten seconds. (Ah, the good old days)
Fastest achieved female orgasm?
We are all led to believe that women are slower to achieve orgasm than are men. This is a more complicated
picture than it seems - not least because, as some have argued, coitus itself may not be the most effective way
to arouse a woman.
Be this as it may it is still true that many women respond very quickly to sexual
stimulation. Fisher notes that in one series of surveys the average woman seemed to require about 8 minutes
to achieve orgasm - "but it should be emphasised that there was a remarkable individual variation, with some
women requiring as little as 1 minute and others requiring as much as 30 minutes to reach orgasm." If, in a
relatively small research survey, women were found who could achieve orgasm in less than 1 minute it is
reasonable to surmise that some would require only 40 or 50 seconds to achieve the same result. And
doubtless there are some "freakish" folk requiring much less time than this; for instance, the women noted by
Pomeroy who achieved orgasm 2-5 seconds after penile insertion... Um, no foreplay?
Least sensitive erogenous zone on a woman?
Many men are keen to play with a woman's vulva: women are often relatively indifferent to such activity -
particularly if the man focuses on the outer lips. The inside lips (labia minora) are usually highly sensitive, the
outer lips (labia majora) much less so. The women surveyed by Fisher rated the sexual excitement areas in the
following sequence clitoris, vagina, near clitoris, inside lips of vulva, inside vagina, and breasts. The outside
lips of the vulva were rated the least excitable of all.
Rarest orgasmic technique?
Various extremely unusual masturbatory techniques have been used by both men and women to achieve
orgasm, and, with men ejaculation. It is a commonplace that fantasy accompanied by digital manipulation of the
penis, can produce ejaculation in the majority of men. A small number, however, can accomplish ejaculation by
means of fantasy alone. In the Kinsey survey of more than 5000 men, three or four were found who could
ejaculate by deliberately concentrating on sexual fantasies, without any genital manipulation - "In such a case
the psychic stimulation is entirely responsible for the result." Two or three males in a thousand are able to suck
their own penises to achieve orgasm and ejaculation. Hm, just because they can, doesn't mean they do, does
it?
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